Diversity - duality - unity.

In my almost three years here in the United States, God has been showing things through multiples : diversity, duality, then unity.
I've been facing the reality that everything in life has two extremes, and that we have lessons to learn from both of them. There's beauty in this duet composed and conducted by life. There's beauty in this contrast presented to us by our days and that can cause to be uncomfortable - out of our comfort zones - and lead us to growth.
Life as I knew was in Atlanta, Georgia, one of the biggest cities of the United States - my studies, my friends, the churches and college ministries I was involved with, my own foreign boyfriend. All that I was used to in that city seems to be gone... the classes I once had, the friends who kept me company through several months, changes in the ministries, and then my boyfriend leaving back to his Czech Republic. Since August, I've been confronted with the reality that I don't belong to Georgia anymore - reality to terrifying for me several months ago. As weird as it sounds, I'm not scared about leaving anymore. Inside of me I have this thirsty for the new... new places, new air, new faces - the same one I had when I first landed in Atlanta.
In mysterious ways, I ended in Robbins for a visit that was supposed to last two weeks, and I'm reaching my seventh week here already. The differences between Atlanta and Robbins scream really, really loud: Atlanta presented me five million new faces, while Robbins shows me less than two thousand ones. A new time has come, and I'm ready for it. I'm blessed with the people I've been meeting here, and enchanted with the Southern hospitality. People know me by my name, know where I'm living, they are interested in my life... something unusual if compared to what I had in Georgia.
God has shown me that a transition time has come. From facing the complete new and having to rebuilt my life among many, I'm now facing the few... learning to see people in their individuality, gaining a fresh interest for them, and as consequence, for my own past and remaining family in Brazil. In a similar manner, I have arrived here torn into pieces, with many facets, and through the experiences I've lived here, I'm becoming one, whole, complete... quite a change!
I'm thankful for all things. I'm blessed and intrigued by diversity. I'm thankful for the angels who graciously don't let me fall apart and give sense and meaning to my days and internal chaos.
One example of extremes being brought together? A Brazilian and a Czech meeting in a diverse America and through all the diversity around them, finding unity and becoming one. I'm experiencing a miracle... in the midst of chaos, God has given me peace... a peace that has a name and a face: Josef. Graciously, I'm not alone anymore just spiritually (through the faith that has kept me and that will lead me beyond), but also physically... and what a tremendous blessing that is! I'm thankful for new understanding, a shift in my perspective about life and for true love being found: from many, I'm slowing becoming one, and that with the help of another being. Josef and I are now found on the dance of duality becoming unity... painful at times, full of joy in other ones... but rewarding in all its ways!
Carino ... I love you!

Readers, friends, people I love and miss so much,

I've been blessed enough with the possibility of spending these past 6 weeks here in North Carolina with my friend Luci - someone I've known for a long time and who trained me as an interpreter in my years of Calvary Chapel Sao Vicente, still in Brazil. Before me I have the dream of any linguist: a multicultural home, three languages being spoken and mixed full time - mom Brazilian, dad Spanish, children American. Counting all I've laughed and cried while observing their interaction as a family would allow me to write a thousand books... but before making you tired of reading all this, let me share this little story that still makes laugh to the point of crying. Some points counting for this... never assume that an American child is less smart than you; if you live in a multicultural environment with children of 2 and 4 years old, they see themselves - specially the oldest one - as fluent in all the languages they're around.

While living this dream of watching and listening to all the code-switching inside the house during lunch, Stephanie - the oldest one - starts asking about my life in Atlanta. To everything I point as good about my beloved Georgia, she says Robbins (the small town I'm in) as better. Robbins is better than any big city. Robbins doesn't have thieves. In Robbins you can see bears, raccoon, possums and so on and they won't attack... the list goes on and on. (One thing I name as fact, actually my latest addiction: pineapple soda. Have you ever heard about it? This is the only place where I can find here, and since the day I got here, pineapple soda has been my water and my everything.) Stephanie talks and talks... I listen and listen, amazed by her independence, the beautiful innocence of believing she is a Disney princess and that her hair, as Rapunzel's, has magical power. At some point, we start talking about translation, and Luci starts asking Stephanie to give me a list of words ranging among English, Spanish and Portuguese - note that they can speak and understanding any of the three languages perfectly... I'm dead serious here. Then the moment of crying from laughing so much came from this conversation you'll see here (imagine little Stephanie all excited while going through the translations and displaying to an audience how smart she is):

Luci: What else can you tell Helen about Spanish and English words? What about sodas?

Stephanie: Sodas? I love sodas!

Luci: Pineapple Fanta is the same in Portuguese, English and Spanish... Fanta. (Luci gives an endless list of sodas in Spanish, while I quietly listen). How is Coca (Coca-Cola) in English?

Stephanie: That I know, mom! Of course that Coke in English is Pepsi!

I died. I literally died. I just looked at Luci and tried to keep the laughter, then Luci couldn't keep it to herself and started dying laughing as well. If you live here, you know that Georgia is the land of Coca-Cola and the North Carolina is the home for Pepsi. Consider the irony that, for all cases, here in this hometown I'm not the Brazilian, but the girl from Atlanta. Consider that she mixed the translation of Georgia's most famous soda for North Carolina's most known product - and all by all (and let's say majority of soda lovers who can't change a Coke for anything else, promising faithfulness to it to the end. Period), and that I'm also the girl moving from the same Atlanta to North Carolina. Well... all of this to say... take the word of a child as truth. Next time you come to America and decide to order a Coca-Cola... remember Stephanie and go for a Pepsi. You never contradict a child - and her dreams. In all her cuteness... could I be the monster to say that her translation was wrong when the English she speaks, at her 4 years... is a thousand times better than mine? :D :D In all cases... COKE IN ENGLISH IS PEPSI! Enough said.

I still remember the first time I walked inside a grocery store here in America - June of 2009, Walmart, Marietta, GA. I was so excited and as I got inside it... shock. People of all types and sizes there: everything I had seen in movies before was there before me. The first thing to be noticed in any type of store here in this country: the professionalism - everybody smiling, being respectful to you wherever you walk to... people always ready to serve, to engage you into consuming more. The rule we always hear about is real here: the customer is always right.

Here in Georgia, specially the city I was in, we have a huge hispanic community, and I still could sense people staring at me: compared to people here I'm too skinny... and too tiny. What we see on tv about obesity here... it's real. I've seen people overweight to the point of not being able to imagine how heavy they are. At that point, I started questioning myself how it was possible for people to have so much money, the possibility to buy pretty much  anything they want, and still choose not to be healthy. In my mind, keeping your weight something we in Brazil would call 'normal' was a choice... when it's not, really. Just by walking around by a few minutes, I noticed that people like me are not that common... that most people have passed the line of being healthy concerning keeping their body weight a long time ago, to the point of not caring about that anymore. Honestly, I started getting aflicted... more people staring at me. I asked my friends - other internationals from Colombia and Japan who shared an apartment on campus with me - where the fruits and vegetables were, and to my extreme surprise... they were restricted to ONE aisle. I'm being dead serious. NO JOKE. ONE AISLE. Worse than all that... everything expensive. Do you want to buy bananas? Pay $5.00 for three, four of them... and ugly ones. Pineapple? You're not able to find a full one to cut at home... you can just find them already cut and ready to eat, for something around $7.00 dollars for a whole pineapple that you'll just have the work of opening the plastic container and swallowing. Grapes? Just seedless. Apples? Cut to pieces, with no need of peeling. Everything ready for you? I started getting uncomfortable. The first thought that came to me: are American really that lazy? Is all this really happening? I tried to catch my breath and then went to the next aisle... as seven other ones, all frozen food. All your work? Getting the container out of the box and sticking it into the microwave. A meal of corn, chicken nuggets and a little mac n' cheese for $1.00 dollar. Ramen noodles (university student's favorite food, as they call themselves mostly poor and broken while driving their BMWs and brand new Corollas to the campus) for $0.18 cents a piece. Chinese meal similar to noodles that you just add water to and also put into the microwave for $0.69 cents. A paradise or nightmare? Coming from my world of having my dad as an awesome cook and teacher on that at home... it felt more like a nightmare. Up to that point, microwave was something far from my reality... I never had one at home. What I heard is that they liberate can cause cancer and so on... and since my health was always above my laziness for cooking, I would always find myself among pots and pans. FOR REAL.

A few more interesting observations concerning this first shopping experience:

-due to a lot of people being overweight - and because of that having problems to talk, breathe or move in any way - in all the stores you have automatic shopping karts available for you. All you have to do to enjoy your shopping experience is sitting on the kart and pressing your button... no walking will be needed as long as you're buying something;

-the portions in the packages here are HUGE - what they call 'Family Size', what makes them cheaper... but from what I've seen, it also leads people to eat a lot more food than necessary;

-the amount of products related to making houses smell good - candles, air fresheners, sprays and so on. To be honest, being crazy about perfumes as I am, and how cheap those products are here... that felt like paradise;

-Americans use credit cards all the time... you barely see people paying for whatever they buy in cash. I had to learn that the hard way after having people giving me the 'weird eye' for carrying so many dollar bills with me and for keeping the lines too long while counting my coins to pay for my groceries. I've embarassed myself several times until I came to the realization that yes, I had to surrender to plastic money: credit card;

-meat is extremely expensive here, and once again, everything comes in packages already cut and clean, sometimes even with all the spices. All you need, once again, is just sticking it inside the microwave or inside the oven (along with using with some canola oil SPRAY, so then you don't have to touch the pan and feel you're messing yourself while trying to cook a meal. Sticking fingers and hard work while preparing your meal here? NO WAY! :)

-you can find fish already prepared and just read to go to the oven or microwave relatively cheap - $4.29 dollars for ten tilapia fillets that taste really good (and for someone who already adored fish... that went to the top of my list as the meat I would consume for the next three years);

-exchange of products: if you buy something that later on you realize that doesn't fit or please you, you can just take it along with your receipt to the Customer Care area of the store and they will immediately replace it for you or give your full money back... no complaints, no weird eye... just fairness (I learned to love this!);

-self checkout: for this one, I've embarassed myself a thousand times until I got the handle of it. As you walk towards check out, you see some smaller lines... walk ahead and all you'll see in front of you is a machine through while you scan all you're buying, use the scale for the things you're buying per weight, bag your own groceries and yes... pay for it. At the first time I used it, I bursted out in laughter, thinking if that would work in Brazil... would it? Good and bad people are everywhere, but us Brazilians are known for our 'Brazilian way'... would that play a part in the whole story? ;)

As a way of sharing my adventures here in America, I definitely need to be more faithful in writing... and this is just a start!

Any questions, curiosities? Just contact me and I'll do my best to talk about it!

I love you all very much and miss our Brazil more than we know!

P.S.: If you want to go through a similar experience, we have a Walmart in Sao Paulo (in case you haven't already been there) - it's worth the try! ;)

Rua James Holland, 668 - Barra Funda
Sao Paulo

Food for thought.

“If political rights are necessary to set social rights in place, social rights are indispensable to make political rights 'real' and keep them in operation. The two rights need each other for their survival; that survival can only be their joint achievement.” 
― Zygmunt Bauman, Collateral Damage: Social Inequalities in a Global Age

Traveling the world in quotes! :D :D

Quotations

"Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves." (Abraham Lincoln) "Human societies, like human beings, live by faith and die when faith dies." (Whitaker Chambers) "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." (Eleanor Roosevelt) "Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical." (Blaise Pascal) "You can make anything by writing." (C.S. Lewis) "Não há pior analfabeto que o analfabeto político. Ele não ouve, não fala, nem participa dos acontecimentos políticos. O analfabeto político é tão burro que se orgulha de o ser e, de peito feito, diz que detesta a política. Não sabe, o imbecil, que da sua ignorância política é que nasce a prostituta, o menor abandonado, e o pior de todos os bandidos que é o político vigarista, desonesto, o corrupto e lacaio dos exploradores do povo." (Bertolt Brecht: 1898-1956) "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." (Albert Einstein) "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure."(Helen Keller)

Personal statement regarding culture and faith.

“Stones in the road? I save every single one, one day I'll build a castle."(Fernando Pessoa) Before you read about me... listen to my words! Here's a little bit of my story in a short video made by Zach Benson for my baptism at North Metro Church: http://vimeo.com/16835184   I'm a dreamer. I want the world in which we live to become a better place and live my days working towards that. I believe in being the change I want to see in the world. Diversity is a driving force to me... from that passion came my love for different languages and literatures. Facing whatever is different teaches us be tolerant. People have always fascinated me! We always learn from others - good or bad things - and from that we go building who we are, and how the world around see us. We're built and shaped through experiences, through interactions with others. I love them, listening to their stories, sharing mine and growing in that process! I live to bring unity in the midst of diversity. People in essence are the same... cultures are the flavor added to them. Understanding them, embracing them makes us richer in so many ways! God has been shaping me into the woman according to His design little by little. I grew up in a multi-cultural house, in a multicultural environment and learned to accept and embrace diversity in a very early age. My parents, being Polish and Spanish descendents and raising me in Brazil, taught me to find beauty in what is different and always find a common ground with people through showing love and respect. The concept of one culture being better than another one was never allowed into our home. They also taught me that we never walk out of a conversation with people being the same - you learn and take something, and you teach and give something to the other person. From them I also learned the passion for God, languages and for serving people. My parents were the most amazing servants I've ever met, meeting spiritual, physical and material needs of people always being led by the Spirit. They also taught me to be a servant-leader, inspiring people through actions of love – we love because He has first loved us. I can firmly say that I had the best parents ever, that I was tremendously blessed by God in living with them during the time God has allowed them to be around me. Much of my character comes from watching them, the life they poured out into my own life during the years I could be around them. They were constant, consistent in their walks with God, and their example is the biggest legacy and blessing I can ever carry with me!

Violence at the University of Sao Paulo!

: 285 robberies, 634 thefts, 120 vehicles stolen, kidnappings... one fellow student shot in the head and dead yesterday evening, all that INSIDE the campus of the University of Sao Paulo. Here I was considering going home for some more studying... the violence is one of the things I don't miss about Brazil. Mourning the loss of Felipe de Paiva, 24 years old, fellow student. Praying for the safety of my beloved friends who study there and for the authorities to do something about it. I'm in shock.

Clarice.

Hello, friends!

I've read this and it's just too beautiful and meaningful not to share... enjoy! :)

Há Momentos

Há momentos na vida em que sentimos tanto

a falta de alguém que o que mais queremos

é tirar esta pessoa de nossos sonhos

e abraçá-la.

Sonhe com aquilo que você quiser.

Seja o que você quer ser,

porque você possui apenas uma vida

e nela só se tem uma chance

de fazer aquilo que se quer.

Tenha felicidade bastante para fazê-la doce.

Dificuldades para fazê-la forte.

Tristeza para fazê-la humana.

E esperança suficiente para fazê-la feliz.

As pessoas mais felizes

não têm as melhores coisas.

Elas sabem fazer o melhor

das oportunidades que aparecem

em seus caminhos.

A felicidade aparece para aqueles que choram.

Para aqueles que se machucam.

Para aqueles que buscam e tentam sempre.

E para aqueles que reconhecem

a importância das pessoas que passam por suas vidas.

O futuro mais brilhante

é baseado num passado intensamente vivido.

Você só terá sucesso na vida

quando perdoar os erros

e as decepções do passado.

A vida é curta, mas as emoções que podemos deixar

duram uma eternidade.

A vida não é de se brincar

porque um belo dia se morre.

Carta para meu pai!

17 de junho de 2011.

Paizinho querido,

Ha tanto tempo que nao consigo escrever nada para voce! Sao tantas as memorias que tem sido dificil... pensar em Brasil e na saudade que vem me consumindo desde que voce partiu acabam por me deixar longe de qualquer oportunidade de tornar concretos meus pensamentos. E como se fosse parte da negacao da realidade de que nao estamos mais juntos e que essa separacao, ainda que temporaria, machuca bastante!

Penso muito no que voce diria se me visse agora – sao 27 meses sem suas broncas e conselhos, e creio que nao tenho me saido tao bem. Tenho usado muitos artificios como escape dessa realidade que me doi tanto... a distancia do nosso querido Brasil e uma delas. Venho tentando retomar a vida que tinhamos quando eu ainda estava em sua presenca, e essa mesma vida tem sido de certa forma mais vazia sem seus passos por perto. Tudo o que eu era – na verdade, pouco... os estudos em uma universidade conceituada, meu tao sonhado projeto de pesquisa, a procura por um bom emprego – tinham sentido quando voce estava por perto. Todas as minhas realizacoes encontravam raiz em voce. O que tem me mantido viva e a consciencia de que voce descansou e finalmente encontrou a paz que tanto almejava... apenas sinto que essa partida tenha sido tao repentina e que eu nao tenho visto voce realizando seus sonhos de uma aposentadoria tranquila, usufruindo de tudo o que construiu ao longo de 40 anos de trabalho e muita luta... uma partida sem o retorno a amada Polonia, com o resgate de suas respeitadas raizes.

Em sua honra, em sua memoria, apenas sei que tenho que vencer! Como peregrina em uma terra distante, tenho que concluir meus estudos, ser bem sucedida em uma carreira que teve sua fundacao e primeiros passos orquestrados por voce... tenho que ser a esposa, mae, voluntaria, batalhadora que voce sempre almejou que eu fosse. A diferenca toda esta em fazer tudo isso sem seus discursos imensos com os pros e contras de cada passo e do silencio de aprovacao a cada vitoria conquistada. Peco que Deus, nosso Pai, me de mais e mais forcas para prosseguir caminhando quando cada passo parece ganhar peso a medida que progrido de alguma forma. Paizinho... nao tem sido facil! Eita saudade doida, que aperta tanto e me consome!

Em seu nome, em sua honra, sonho rever nossa familia – pequenina, ainda tao desunida – reunida e torcendo pela felicidade um do outro, caminhando juntos e encorajando uns aos outros em nossos sonhos e conquistas! Ainda vivo para ver essa paz e para, quando encontrar voce, minha querida maezinha, nossa Grace e tantos outros queridos que nos precederam a encontrar nosso Deus, dizer que apesar dos pesares, tudo esta bem!

No alto dos meus 29 anos, ha dias que olho para tras e vejo tudo o passei nesses dois anos que tive que prosseguir sozinha nessa caminhada chamada vida... sinto-me gigante em alguns dias, e tao pequenina e fragil em outros! Engracado como damos mais valor as pessoas apenas quando elas ja se foram... sou grata por ter optado por estar em sua presenca quando tantas outras oportunidades de me fazer distante bateram a nossa porta! Nossos 15 ultimos anos de convivencia foram os mais dificeis e desafiadores de minha vida... mas tambem os mais gratificantes. Se ainda estou viva, se ainda prossigo caminhando... sou grata a Deus pelo pai gigante, lutador, sonhador, realizador, melhor amigo que Ele me deu! Pelos anos que viverei... carrego o legado de vida, dignidade, honestidade, transparencia, coerencia e forca que voce deixou. Nao ha palavras existentes para expressar minha gratidao pelo ser humano exemplar com quem dividi 29 anos de minha vida.

A vida insiste em perpetuar muitas das palavras que voce me disse durante nossa intensa convivencia. No final das contas, as licoes que tenho aprendido na Terra do Tio Sam ja me tinham sido ensinadas tantas e tantas vezes... por voce.

Amo voce para todo o sempre!